


Trust Exercises

by runbravelybackward (victorienne)



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-29
Updated: 2012-04-29
Packaged: 2017-11-04 13:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victorienne/pseuds/runbravelybackward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Dave spend a Saturday in so Dave can give John his belated birthday present: Watching as many Cage flicks together as John wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust Exercises

**Author's Note:**

> I set out to write diabetes-inducing fluff, and I think I managed--with plenty of snark and dorkiness mixed in.
> 
> I posted this in real time, piece by piece, on [my tumblr](http://oldthymerhyming.tumblr.com/) one Saturday, then collected all of it to post it here.

**-Saturday 9:00 AM, Bedroom-**

"Come on, Hummingbird, rise and shine!" John shakes Dave's shoulder gently.

"Mmngrnl..." Dave grumbles and buries his face in his pillow.

John chuckles. "Hmm?"

Dave turns his head toward John, his eyes still closed. "Fuck off."

John kisses him on the forehead before sliding out from under the covers. "I'll go make breakfast."

"Mnn."

**-9:33 AM, Bedroom-**

"Dave, come on! Wake up and smell the bacon."

"Mnn... nope."

As John abruptly opens the blinds, Dave buries his face in the pillows and pulls the covers over his head. John sits down next to Dave and starts bouncing on the bed and shaking Dave's shoulder. He then leans down and begins to sing loudly in Dave's ear.

"I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I'd miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a thing. 'Cause even--"

Dave scrambles away and sits up. "Shit, Egbert, no need to bring out the big guns right away."

John laughs, pulls Dave toward him, and kisses his hair. "Breakfast's almost ready."

"Mmkay."

John touches Dave's cheek and turns his face toward him to kiss Dave lightly on the lips. He then gets up and leaves the bedroom in the direction of the wafting scent of bacon grease and syrup.

Dave falls back onto the bed. "Fuck morning people."

**-9:39 AM, Kitchen-**

Dave drags himself into the kitchen, glaring at John.

John grins back. "Welcome to the realm of the living, Dave!"

Wrapping his arms around John, Dave sets his chin on John's shoulder. "You brought me back as the undead, Egbert. I'm a zombie now, man. I can't eat these pancakes and eggs and shit. Zombies eat brains. Have some cultural sensitivity."

John runs his finger through a puddle of half-melted butter on his pancake-laden plate and taps the tip of Dave's nose with it. "Well, I'm putting you on a strict no-brain diet. Only pancakes, bacon, and eggs for you this morning!"

"Ok."

John turns to kiss Dave's cheek before trying to squirm out of his arms to put breakfast on the table. Dave only tightens his grip.

"Daaaaave." John rolls his eyes.

"Gotta pay the toll, man."

John's cheeks redden a bit, and he rolls his eyes again. But he smiles and turns to face Dave to kiss him on the lips.

After he pulls away, Dave looks at him, his red eyes unobscured by shades. "You've only increased my undead, cannibalistic urges. Need... flesh."

John rolls his eyes. "Then take the bacon! Problem solved."

Dave narrows his eyes, and after a moment, John smiles and kisses him again. "Happy now?"

After seeming to ponder the question for a moment, he reluctantly removes his arms from around John's waist. "I guess."

John grins and kisses the top of Dave's head before bringing their plates to the small kitchen table.

They both sit down, and Dave's first order of business is to dump a large quantity of syrup onto his pancakes until his whole plate is a pool of it.

"You remember what today is right?" John asks as he stuffs a strip of bacon into his mouth.

"I'm going to go with Saturday. Final answer, Meredith."

John punches Dave's arm. "Aaaand the day you're giving me my birthday present: a day of Cage flicks together with no whining or complaining and only minimal criticism."

"Right."

"I was thinking we could start with  _National Treasure_ , then go straight to  _National Treasure 2_ , followed by  _Ghost Rider_ ,  _Weather Man_ _,_ _Sorcerer's Apprentice,_ _Season of the Witch_ ,  _City of Angels, Wicker Man,_ and finish with  _Con Air_!"

Dave's jaw drops. "Oh my God."

John picks up his napkin and wipes the butter off Dave's nose. "Well, you couldn't be bothered to get me anything else for my birthday aside from faygo and three boxes of gushers. You've got to pick up the slack here."

"How many hours is that?"

"I dunno. Over 10, for sure."

"Jesus Christ."

"Just remember you brought this on yourself, Dave!" John gives Dave a slightly sadistic grin.

"Fuck."

**-10:58 AM, Living Room (46 minutes into _National Treasure_ )-**

"How many critical statements am I allotted per egregious insult to the realm of cinema?"

"For each movie, you get two comments or rhetorical questions that I could find to be negative. That's eighteen total."

"Are you shitting me, Egbert? I'm going to use that up on this movie alone."

John reaches for the bowl of popcorn in Dave's lap. "It was your idea!" He grins before stuffing popcorn into his mouth. "I can't help it that you had to make up a really awesome idea when you forgot my birthday."

"I didn't forget your birthday," Dave grumbles. "I just thought you would torture me with a maximum of four Cage flicks. But this is way beyond torture. This is somewhere between the fifth and seventh layers of hell."

John snatches the popcorn bowl away from Dave. "That counts as whining. I hereby revoke your popcorn privileges for a minimum of one hour."

Dave rolls his eyes and groans. John smiles peevishly before setting the popcorn bowl on the table beside the couch and reaching out to run his fingers through Dave's hair. Relaxing immediately, Dave scoots toward John and rests his head on John's shoulder. John kisses Dave's hair before leaning his cheek against it.

**-12:38 PM, Living Room (12 minutes into _National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets)-_**

Dave gets up from the couch with a grunt. "Gonna put some hot pockets in the microwave. What kind do you want? I think we still have some of those shitty cheeseburger ones you liked."

Snatching the remote, John pauses the movie. Dave swears under his breath, causing John to grin at him as he gets up to follow Dave to the kitchen. "You're not missing out on a second of the Cage's brilliance. I know you'd be heartbroken if you missed a single glimpse of his face."

"Got that right. I'd have to flop down on my pink-sheeted bed and blog about my feelings while gorging myself with Ben and Jerry's. You know how it is."

John snorts and heads for the refrigerator to pull out a large, garishly patterned ceramic bowl that had been a gift from Dave's bro when they moved in. It wasn't wrapped and came with a sticky note on the bottom that read "Congratulations on your descent into domesticity." Dave contemplated building a catapult strong enough to launch it all the way from Seattle to Austin, hoping it would at least crush Lil Cal under its weight.

"No way, Egbert. We are done with that pasta salad. The moment you put it in that bowl, it was dead to me."

John rolls his eyes. "You hated it before it got within a yard of this bowl."

"Yeah, but now I'm definitely not eating it."

"Yes, you are. We're getting rid of these leftovers. There's only so much space in this fridge. Now get me a couple plates."

"Yes, mother."

Dave pulls two plates out of the cabinet, and John grabs a serving spoon and begins to dole out the pasta salad as Dave makes faces at it. When John looks up at him, he bursts out laughing, almost knocking the bowl to the floor with his spoon. "Oh my God, Dave, you're such a dweeb," he says, his voice shaking from laughter.

"I have officially been declared a dweeb by an Egbert. I would like to thank the academy--"

John punches Dave in the arm before shoving a plate into his hand. "C'mon, back to the movie, Dave!"

"Ugh. Can you just pull my teeth out slowly and painfully or flog me or tie me up and--"

"The tying up can be arranged." John wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Dave's cheeks grow as red as his eyes, and John laughs before kissing him on the cheek. He then pulls him back toward the living room and unpauses the movie.

**-3:20 PM, Living Room (47 minutes into _Ghost Rider_ )-**

"Dave, I'm surprised you took until the third movie to use up your criticisms, but that was your last one!"

"Come on, Egbert, you can't tell me that that was not completely worthy of being bashed into the ground straight through to the earth's core."

John shakes his head, returning his attention to the movie.

"I have to pee. No need to pause for me."

"That's ok--I can wait! I know you'd  _never_ want to miss this next scene."

Dave glares at John before getting up and heading to the bathroom down the hall.

John snickers until he comes back.

**-4:54 PM, Living Room (31 minutes into _The Weather Man_ )-**

"Hey, Dave, can we do that?"

"Do what?"

"Those trust exercise things Cage and his movie wife are doing."

"You don't trust me, Egbert? I'm hurt, dude. I thought what we had was special."

John rolls his eyes. "I was thinking we'd do it the other way around to make sure you trust me enough to fall on your ass."

Dave looks at John, and from the slight furrow to his brow, John realizes he took it more seriously than he'd intended. He looks surprisingly hurt at the thought, and the emotion he shows in his expression is more proof than Dave's falling backward into his arms could ever be.

Bringing his hands to Dave's cheeks, John smiles at him gently. "I was kidding, Dave. You don't have to prove it--I know."

Dave suddenly turns, and John is worried that he really did offend him. Crossing his arms over his chest, he turns so that his back is facing John. "You better catch me, you ass."

Turning to bring his legs onto the couch, John laughs, holding out his arms as Dave tips backward. John catches him and puts his arms around his waist, pulling Dave's back against his chest. Dave leans back against him and rests his head against John's shoulder before wrapping his arms over John's.

"See, I caught you, Dave," John whispers in Dave's ear.

Dave snorts. "You are such a dork."

"Pot calling the kettle black, Mr. Strider."

Dave brings his hand up to place against John's cheek as he tilts his head up, smiling. John laughs and turns his head to press his lips against Dave's.

**-6:10 PM, Living Room-**

After putting in the DVD for _The Sorcerer's Apprentice,_ John stands up and stretches. "Time for dinner!"

"Awesome. Pizza time." Dave jumps up from the couch and rushes to the kitchen. He's already digging through the freezer and withdrawing a pizza by the time John gets there. He sighs in surrender and goes over to preheat the oven as Dave tears the plastic off the pizza.

As he turns to lean against the counter to wait for the oven to finish preheating, John bites his lower lip nervously. "Hey, Dave?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm really glad we decided to move in together."

"Same here. There's a shit-ton more edible food in this apartment than my bro's."

He narrows his eyes at Dave. "I'm being serious."

Dave turns to face John and tilts his head. "So am I. What brought this up?"

Looking at the linoleum floor, John shifts nervously. "We talked about... you know... our future and stuff before. But we haven't brought it up recently. I was wondering if... you lost interest in staying together for the long term... or something. I understand if you--"

"John, no. My God, no." He walks over to John and puts his arms around him. "I... definitely don't want to lose this. Trust me."

John wraps his arms around Dave and buries his face in his shoulder. Leaning his cheek against the top of John's head, Dave brings a hand up to play with John's hair.

"Who, despite over 2000 miles driving distance, asked whom to junior prom as an ironic bro date? Who asked whom to senior prom--unironically? Who decided to apply to a college in this damp, frigid wasteland known as Washington state to room with his best bro? Who decided to actually move to said wasteland to keep rooming with his best bro after college ended?"

John's laugh is muffled by Dave's shoulder. "You did."

"Damn right." Dave pushes back from John and leans in to kiss him, an inch away from his lips when the oven alerts them of its readiness. Giving John a shrug, Dave leans in and kisses him gently anyway before attending to the pizza.

"I love you, Dave."

"I love you, too, John."

**-9:04 PM, Living Room (40 minutes into _Season of the_ _Witch_ )-**

"Egbert, this movie is fucking ridiculous."

"You're out of free whining cards. As of like three movies ago. I think there should be some sort of consequences for this."

"I object."

"You don't get to object Mr. I-forgot-my-boyfriend's-birthday."

"I did not--"

"Shhh, I said you didn't get to object." Dave rolls his eyes but doesn't interrupt. "Hmm... what would be the appropriate punishment for this? Oh, I know! You have to sing 'How to I Live' with me every time it plays when we get to  _Con Air_."

"And what if I try to escape this outlandish excuse for justice, warden?"

"You will be sentenced to sleeping on the couch for a minimum of two nights."

Dave looks at him in genuine alarm. "What?"

Crossing his arms, John glares at Dave. "You got me faygo and gushers for my birthday. Let's not forget that."

"I told you I was planning on this. _This_ is your gift, not some shitty soda and sugary fonts of diabetes."

"So now you're admitting that a portion of my birthday gift was shitty?" John shakes his head gravely. "Mr. Strider, you're just digging yourself deeper."

"No, Egbert-- I-- Fuck you."

John's serious expression shatters with his laughter as he punches Dave's arm and pulls him down until his head is in John's lap. He curls up and turns his head to look at John who flicks the top of his head with his finger.

"What was that for?"

"You're not getting out of watching the movie by staring at me lovingly. I know you. You can't get away with it, Dave."

Dave sits up enough to press his lips to John's for a completely insufficient amount of time to satisfy John before giving him a smirk and settling back onto his lap. John sighs in mild annoyance and absentmindedly runs his fingers through Dave's hair as they both turn back to the movie.

**-11:35 PM, Living Room (90 minutes into _City of Angels_ )-**

"We fit together, John," Dave parrots as the movie's dramatic lines. "We were made to fit together." He bats his blond eyelashes at John, his hands pressed together against his cheek as he tilts his head.

John punches Dave's arm hard. "Dave, stop ruining the moment!"

Dave gives something close to a cackle. "You just said I couldn't complain or criticize. Not ruining sex scenes wasn't on that list."

"You ass! Shut up! Ugh, now I missed the whole sexy scene!" He throws his hands in the air.

"No, you didn't." Dave puts a finger under John's chin and turns his face toward him. They both lean in, and their lips brush together. As Dave moves to close the remaining gap, John backs up, just barely out of reach. Dave tries again, and John pulls back a second time, giving a breathy laugh at his own teasing.

"Damn it, Egbert," Dave hisses.

Feeling Dave's breath against his lips, John presses forward, both meeting Dave's lips and pushing him back onto the couch. Dave makes a surprised noise as his head hits the cushion, accidentally opening his mouth to let it out. John seizes the opportunity, his tongue finding its way into Dave's mouth. When John's tongue presses against his own, Dave moans, prompting John to speed up his pace. His tongue travels across the roof of Dave's mouth, and Dave presses his fingers into John's back. They travel down John's spine, pressing lightly, until John groans into Dave's mouth.

He then tears his lips from Dave's to kiss across his jaw and under his jawbone and down his neck. Each kiss gets slower, forcing small, needy sounds from Dave's throat, until John reaches his collar bone where he nibbles experimentally before sucking lightly. Dave groans and brings a hand up to twist his fingers into John's hair.

Just as John slips a hand under Dave's shirt, pressing his fingers up his chest, a thunderous noise comes from the other side of the living room wall. John sits bolt upright as the neighbors stereo blasts to life. Dave breaks into a long stream of curses, and John gives a sheepish laugh.

"Sorry."

"Not your fault our neighbors are obnoxious douchebags."

John moves to get off of Dave, but Dave puts his hands on John's waist, turning him as he shifts around, then pulling John to lay on his side next to him. They both reluctantly turn back to the movie, but not before Dave turns to kiss John's nose, prompting John to wrap his arms around Dave.

**-Sunday 1:24 AM, Living Room (85 minutes into _The Wicker Man_ )-**

John almost snorts his pepsi out of his nose. "Nic Cage in a bear costume punching that lady never stops being funny!"

"Mhm." Dave is lounging against the armrest on the other side of the couch, John's plaid-socked feet resting in his lap.

John tilts his head as he turns to look at Dave, still smiling from the Cage's antics, but some of his mirth has escaped him. "What's wrong, Dave?"

"Hmm?" Dave says, not turning to look at John until he kicks Dave in the side. "Fuck, what was that for?"

"What's _wrong_ , Dave? It's been at least half an hour before you've so much snorted in derision at this movie. And I know you love doing that."

"Fuck yeah, I do. I'm just tired. Don't worry about it."

"Tired at 1 am?" John narrows his eyes. "I don't believe you, Dave."

Dave shrugs and turns back to the movie, though his eyes are glazed over, his thoughts far from Nic Cage and his terrifying circumstances. "Just a little stressed, I guess. Don't worry about it, though."

Swinging his legs off Dave's lap, John scoots over to put an arm around Dave's shoulder and rests his forehead against Dave's temple. "Can I help?"

Dave snorts. "Not right now. I'll let you know if you can, ok?"

John sighs in disappointment and shifts to rest his back against the couch. He runs his hand up and down Dave's arm, and Dave's lips curve into a slight smile. A couple minutes later, he yawns over-dramatically, stretching his right arm above his head and letting it settle over John's shoulders. John laughs and pulls Dave closer.

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

**-3:36 AM, Living Room (111 minutes into _Con Air_ )-**

As he watches the ragged bunny--the very same one now perched on top of of Dave's head--nearly float into a storm drain, John is bouncing in his seat with excitement. "Are you ready to sing with me, Dave?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Look at these rugged examples of manliness, Dave. How can you not love everything about this movie?"

Dave shrugs. "It's ok."

"You really think so?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then, are you going to belt out this song at the top of your lungs and wake up our obnoxious neighbors?"

"Probably not. They'd still deserve it, the little--"

"Shhh! It's starting!"

"Oh, God."

John immediately starts singing along, his baritone warm and full of feeling. He punches Dave who sighs and joins in, his voice a light tenor. His voice comes out a little restrained--almost pained--at first, but he knows all the words. On realizing that fact, John turns to him and grins, grabbing both Dave's hands in his own and pulling him closer. The bunny falls off Dave's head into his lap, but neither of them minds. Dave looks surprisingly serious, despite John's elation, and he reaches up to stroke John's cheek. John blushes a little when he realizes that Dave isn't singing _with_ him--he's definitely singing  _to_ him. He feels tears in his eyes and reaches up to rub his eyes--crying definitely not a manly thing to do while the Cage is on screen. The emotion chokes out his voice, and he lets Dave sing by himself. The corners of Dave's mouth turn up slightly, but it looks forced.

"Dave, what...?" John begins to ask quietly.

Dave pulls his hand away to take the bunny off his lap and put it to the side before sliding off the couch, John's hand still in his. He gets down on one knee in front of the couch to serenade John who bursts out laughing. He looks down at Dave, his eyes full of affection and amusement.

"Oh my God, Dave..." he says amid his laughter.

But as the music hits a crescendo, Dave looks down and reaches into the pocket of his flannel pajamas. And just as Cameron Poe embraces his loving wife and daughter, he pulls out a small black box. Slipping his other hand out of John's, he opens the box to reveal a ring set with small diamonds and a slightly larger sapphire. John claps both hands over his mouth and looks rapidly between the ring and Dave's eyes as Dave continues to sing, though more quietly.

"Oh my God, Dave...," John says quietly, his words muffled by the hands he doesn't have the presence of mind to remove.

The song ends, and John and Dave are left looking at each other as Dave stops singing.

"Since Washington has stopped living in the fucking Middle Ages..." Dave pauses to glance down and clear his throat before looking back up at John, his red eyes filled with warmth and hope. "John Egbert," (John bites his lip behind his hands) "will you marry me?"

John emits a sort of squeaking noise and drops onto the floor beside Dave, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his lips against Dave's in earnest. Dave kisses him back just as hard, but pulls away after a minute.

"Is that a yes?"

John laughs and realizes there are tears in his eyes again. "Yeah, of course that's a yes!" He goes in for another kiss, but Dave laughs and holds him back gently.

"Man, I spent money on this shit. You better wear it."

John lets out something between a laugh and a sob and lets Dave slip the ring onto his finger. "Isn't this a bit gaudy?"

"It's bling, Egbert. Own it."

Continuing to laugh, he looks back up at Dave who has tears running down his cheeks, too. They grin at each other, and Dave wraps his arms around John's shoulders as John wipes the tears off Dave's cheeks. Cupping Dave's cheeks in his hands, he then kisses each eyelid, edged with blond lashes, and, deciding that's not enough, kisses his nose, both cheeks, then his lips. The kiss is sweet and slow and warm as they realize there's no need to rush anymore. There will be plenty of time--they're going to be together for the long haul.

When they finally pull back, John keeps grinning unabashedly while Dave tries his best to reduce his. It's not working.

"Happy birthday, darlin'." John snorts a laugh. "I told you I'd been planning this."

John bites his lip to hold back more tears. "You're such a dork, Dave."

"Takes one to know one, John."

As he bursts out laughing again, more as a release of emotion than out of specific amusement at Dave's retort, Dave pulls John to him. John rests his cheek on Dave's shoulder, and Dave strokes his hair as he begins to sing "How Do I Live" quietly in John's ear.


End file.
